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Random Things for which I am Thankful: Opportunities

Random thoughts November 25, 2013 Leave a comment

A person once told me that ‘You have to try new things’. Now we’ll set aside the irony that at the time of the telling, despite my lower age, I had already tried many more things than this person and we’ll focus on the intent of the statement itself. She was right.

There are so many quotes from well-known people past and present about opportunity, carpe diem (seize the day), that I could fill the rest of this post with worthy quotes and have done. Plus there are whole books on this topic, but my take is why I am thankful for opportunity.

I would, and did, tell people right on up through my 30s that I was risk averse. I wanted a quiet, pleasant, family-centric life filled with familiar things and regular rituals like gathering for Thanksgiving. My life had taken me to different cities, in 6 states, which stretched my shyness sorely. I learned to advocate for myself and my family because we were far from the support of extended family. I had seen all the bumps and hassles with moving companies and utilities and the like as pure frustration, but looking back these were opportunities to learn to be polite but firm, to probe for mutual solution, to be my own best advocate.

Moving regularly means leaving behind family and friends, again and again. It means being the new person wishing for a friendly face. It means learning how to turn a stranger into a friendly face by taking small steps; by not fearing a roomful of people. Moving taught me the baby steps to networking long before the word’s definition included this facet of making new contacts and turning those contacts into relationships of varying degrees. Back then a network was CBS, NBC or ABC.

Moving means getting acquainted with the fear of the unknown. Whether the move is a happy thing, or a necessity it is a change in routine, a new set of places to learn; familiar possessions in new positions and unfamiliar rooms. It shakes things up and rearranges. Complacency is broken, sometimes providing fertile ground for new ideas to grow. ‘I can’t do that’ can be seen from a new angle to realize, ‘Well, I know most of what I need to do that’. Moving gets a person to develop what resilience they have naturally, which is really handy when life offers other bumps in your road.

I haven’t talked about opportunity in the familiar manner – get a job offer that you can’t refuse sort of thing. Because opportunity is often much more subtle than that and therefore far more frequent. We aren’t likely to get amazing job offers out of the blue very often, but opportunities probably present themselves almost daily if we pay attention.

Wanted to do This, but That Got in the Way

Personal Growth, Work Life November 22, 2013 Leave a comment

Have you ever just been eager to start on something but been prevented because something that you need to do what you want requires attention before you can get into your desired task? So frustrating!

For the last month plus I have been finding more often than not that when I sit down to write – blog post idea percolating away in my head – my Microsoft Word must be reinstalled. Grrr. Now I must deal with this technical issue and risk losing the essence of my post idea unless I start to write it out long hand. My thoughts come faster than I can sketch out this way, that is why I love composing on the computer.

There are plenty of other examples; getting ready to bake something and finding I am short on a key ingredient, wrapping a package and the tape is missing in action, nearing the end of a project but still have an open question due from someone else. So close, and yet… Ticking this task off the to-do list will just have to wait. Darn it.

Pushme-Pullyou from the original Dr Doolittle movie. (my appreciation has lasted a lifetime)

A few years ago I just couldn’t quite motivate myself to get in the car and go off on vacation. A vacation that included my cousin’s wedding. I’m not sure what prompted my malaise, but I waited until the morning of departure to pack and then did so in a desultory fashion, all the while fighting with the idea that I just wouldn’t go. When I finally got myself on the road, it was only perhaps an hour into the drive when I started to think of toiletries and other items that I had forgotten to pack and by the time I stopped for a break I had almost a dozen things listed.

It wasn’t anything that I couldn’t replace at the nearest drug store – the worst was my favorite lipstick and the drug store where I stopped didn’t have an equivalent color. And it was more my own head that got in the way in this instance and created external obstacles, but I still had to push through it. I did end up having a lovely time, and a much needed break from work.

Hmm, my frustration with Word is what prompted this post and I’ve taken it somewhere I didn’t intend. I guess my point then is that it is good to plan, but also to push through the unplanned or frustrating parts.

Not an Optimal Time to Think

Personal Growth, Work Life, Writing November 20, 2013 Leave a comment

If we were to be asked, we would say that we should always think about what’s going on, what we are doing because it cuts down on mistakes. And then there is reality, often a far cry from what is best practice. Well, to err is human.

Ask a person how something went wrong – a car accident, a work mistake, hurt feelings after a callous comment – and the answer most likely boils down to ‘I didn’t think’. Too much was going on in that person’s mind at that moment and the most immediate task became the casualty of the overtaxed thinking process.

This is why we practice things, why we drill something over and over, so that the activity creates a sort of groove in our brain and that memory kicks in every time we take up that activity. (Think of the times that you have been tired and pulled into your driveway and realized you don’t remember the trip at all.) All that practice makes it more possible that we’ll do the right thing even if we might be fighting panic or illness or something else entirely. But it isn’t foolproof.

I have tacked up bits and scraps of paper near my writing desk (which I rarely use now that I have a laptop…), these scraps hold advice on writing from past well-known writers. One is apropos for today, because it can be applied to thinking as well as writing. It is Herman Melville who said it, but it comes to us through Sarah Paretsky; a writer must be in a ‘silent grass growing mood’ in order to write.

Think of all the times that you know a thing but it just won’t crystalize in that moment. Most likely because that moment isn’t an optimal time to think – there is noise, distraction, pressure coming from somewhere and clouding your thought process.

I equate this to my math difficulties. My brain shuts down on any math when I am in a group. This goes back to a horrid game that was suddenly introduced to me on a steel gray February morning in 2^nd or 3^rd grade. I had just moved to the school, so my classmates had been practicing this game for months. To this day my brain simply says no if I have to do math when there is any attention on me.

I needed a silent grass growing mood to get a firm grasp on math concepts and then practice to gain speed before I played that stupid game. Even understanding the root of my math anxiety, it is rarely an optimal time for me to think in mathematical concepts when I’m in public.

Do You Know When You’re Done?

Personal Growth, Work Life November 18, 2013 Comments: 2

I was just plowing through a few household chores, feeling effective because I could see immediate results as things were put in their proper place, wiped down and such. I felt like I accomplished something – a feeling that is hard to come by in our modern world. Particularly at work.

Back when we were mostly an agrarian society, it was easier to see when we were done – animals fed and given clean stalls, garden weeded, wash on the line to dry. A person could end the day with a sense of accomplishment. Most of these tasks would still have to be repeated the next day, but a person could rest knowing that the job was done for that day; stability had been maintained.

public domain image

Now there might be a quota of orders to fill in a warehouse, or parts to be made on an assembly line or projects to be worked on in an office but done is a bit harder to see and feel. So what if I made and received a lot of calls plus dealt with many emails, I didn’t get done because there are still more. That quota in the warehouse or plant might have been met, but there are still more behind them that the workers can see. The quota is lodged in a computer somewhere.

We need to feel a sense of accomplishment, but we’ve made this nearly impossible to achieve. That stability that previous generations could build seems nebulous to us. How do we capture and nurture it again?

I wish I could say that I have an answer that works for me. Even as I was whipping through the straightening and minor cleaning of my house this morning, there were glaring hints of the larger jobs that have been neglected for one reason or another (time, know-how, money).

One thing that I can say, since I have been aware of this accomplishment deficit, is that I make a point of reviewing what I have completed every day. Even if it wasn’t something that I intended to do, or is very minor. By consciously focusing on these checked off, crossed out tasks I can somewhat counteract the weight of all the partially done tasks in front of me.

What about you, do you know when you’re done?

Coloring, Color, Colorful

Random thoughts November 15, 2013 Leave a comment

Did you like to color as a child? A boxful of crayons and a coloring book, a rainy afternoon, a good spot at the table – happiness was mine. I envied the kids who got the big box of crayons but I could do a lot by blending colors. I manage to revisit this simple pleasure periodically – with my own boys, then nieces and nephews. The kids grow out of their coloring stage and my urge goes dormant.

My Crayon Stash

But not the joy that I get from color – I am not a monochromatic person – my preference for color is always active. Over the years the colors on the palette that attract my eye the most have changed. In childhood it seemed that everyone said their favorite color was blue, so I decided that I wasn’t a fan. Until cobalt blue came into my life. And I had a sweet little electric blue car for a few years. Plus combine blue with green and I can feel my muscles relaxing.

Walk through a garden with its green and splashes of color and suddenly you realize that there are countless shades and tones to a single color. I dare you not to smile. Your heart not to feel just a bit lighter.

I live in the suburbs, more green that many cities, but mostly shades of concrete. Bleh. When I can get in the car and drive away until green is the predominant color, I can feel my breathing getting deeper and my eyes seem to see more clearly – cleansed of all the suburban tans.

I do wear the neutrals – your grays, blacks, browns and tans – as a basis for some type of color. I would have made a terrible Goth going around trying to add a spot of color to everyone else’s outfit. Just ask anyone I see regularly who wears too much black.

How about you – how does color affect you? Or doesn’t it?

Intellectual Calisthenics

Personal Growth, Work Life November 13, 2013 Comments: 4

Some weeks just seem to be overfull of mental obstacle courses – over this wall, through that muck, around the barrier, dodge the danger zone, swim this channel, start this next obstacle course. And again. Oh my.

photo credit: Wikipedia, Marine Pull ups

The brainy neuroscience folks like to tell us that this is good for our minds, keeps us sharp. Hmm, I feel more like I have a puddle in my head after a couple of days like this and can’t be trusted to decide what’s for dinner. I don’t really care in those moments that I might be lowering my risk of dementia. In fact I tend to feel slightly demented after too many days of intellectual calisthenics.

One good puzzle here and there and I agree, my brain is the better for the exercise. For instance in the calm quiet as I write this, it has been a good challenge to remember how to spell calisthenics. (My fingers don’t want to spell it correctly and resent that I keep using the word.) It’s when there is a relentless string of exercises that things get wearing. Like I’m in my own extended, real life version of a disaster movie. How much more can be piled on?

(That last question is rhetorical, I don’t really want to find out. I thought that I better put that point out there, just in case some force wants to explore the answer.)

Well, the sun is shining and that is a November feat not to be ignored, so perhaps I should take a break from intellectual exercise and go get some of the physical kind. The leaves need to be raked, so I’ll think about that as I take a walk and soak up some sun rays.

How have you exercised your own mind lately? And how do you feel about it?

The Power of the Right Word

Business Writing, Personal Growth, Work Life, Writing November 4, 2013 Leave a comment

We learn to speak without understanding the power of language. We just know that we start to associate specific combinations of sounds to the result that we want – combining sounds to produce ‘juice’ gets us a sweet, cold beverage that slakes our thirst. So we say it again when our mouth is dry and we need liquid. Other sound combinations get results too – uttering ‘mommy’ or ‘daddy’ gets lots of wonderful attention, hugs and kisses. Score!

Somewhere along the line we experience the pain of words too. A casually repeated word like ‘dummy’ gains a lecture about not hurting others perhaps. But do we really understand the power of words yet?

Learning that certain words have specific associations to a place – the playground has looser rules than the classroom – teaches us a level of appropriateness, but not necessarily understanding. We have just enough to know how to be hurtful without knowing why we might be hurtful.

I love words – their sound, combining them for just the right effect – I love to read them and to write them. I want to understand them, not just use them. When I am trying to make a point with people who don’t have the same intense relationship to words I like to use an example. If you need a group to listen you can say different things – examples run from ‘Be quiet’ to ‘Shut up’. These are essentially the same command but they have very different connotations for the listeners. If you would like to show authority, but not disrespect toward the group, then your option is clearly ‘be quiet’, ‘quiet, please’ or something along that line.

I know that I cannot expect others to love words as I do. But this example usually helps to gain understanding. In English, we have many options to say something, to get our point across – all valid – which makes choosing the right option for the circumstance an important step. What do we intend to convey? Who is our audience? What is important within the message that is also important to the audience?

There is so much that should go into word choice, too much for one blog post. I need a reminder now and then that words have alternate meanings, even regional meanings sometimes, and that the point of combining sounds into words and words into sentences and paragraphs is to communicate. Communicating isn’t just about what I want to say, but about how the person or group who will receive the message will perceive it. The right word has great power, and the wrong word – well, there is usually a long list of trending social media topics about the famous folks who chose the wrong word at the wrong time.

The Business and IT Convergence

Work Life November 1, 2013 Comments: 4

The differences between the way that business sees an issue, a system and the way that IT (or IS) sees the same issue or system is usually termed a divide. But it doesn’t have to be that way. We are seeing two sides of the same coin, and the coin needs both sides.

I have to admit, I never much thought about this intersect; I am a user of the systems that IT finds, builds and supports. Sometimes those systems drive me mad because they don’t do what I expect them to do. IT should fix them, fix them now because I can’t complete my tasks. But then, as I was waiting for a diagnosis, I started to ask why and how and other questions. I changed from being irritated to curious. And then I was the business owner for the order process in an SAP conversion.

photo credit: Wikipedia, Makati intersection

Like most intersections, we don’t much think about them – they just are and we drive through noting only what we think pertains to us. Time after time. We tsk, tsk at the dysfunction that we see exists there, but it isn’t our place to repair it because we don’t own it. The thing with an intersect is that there is shared ownership, though.

For any user to be successful with a system there is a how and a why within the procedure. The ‘how’ is the way that the system works and owned by IT. The ‘why’ is the business need for the system and owned by business. A successful intersection require collaboration and communication between business and IT from the moment that a system solution is identified.

Looked at a different way, IT owns the system itself and business owns the content, the data. If the data isn’t clean, the system won’t work as intended. The system will be termed as broken.

Creating powerful collaboration and communication between IT and business means a smoother intersection. Defining ownership at the start is the key; it doesn’t prevent the system from acting up, but it sure cuts down on the acrimony.

How do IT and business get along in your office?

Too Much on my Mind to be Nice Too

Personal Growth, Work Life October 30, 2013 Leave a comment

I was scrambling about the other day trying to find something that I knew I had and just couldn’t remember where it was at (I no longer remember what it was at all) when I came across an article about the hazard of an overfull brain to the pleasantries of life. Eureka a small part of my brain said! Stick to the task at hand the rest of my brain said.

Anyway, let’s assume that I completed the original task because it isn’t really important to the story anymore. What is important is that I was brought up to be polite, always, everywhere, no exceptions. (It turns out that there are valid exceptions, but we’ll address that some other time.) You who are over a certain age know what I am talking about. My mom went to great lengths to teach us manners.

photo credit: Wikipedia, Emily Post – the mother of American Etiquette

So much so that one Thanksgiving she invented an elaborate system of signals to my brother and I to point out any indiscretions on our parts but then proceeded to tell the whole table about the system thereby negating the system itself. (It was a pain to learn it all too…) I think that she got embarrassed making all the signals, and then we got confused. Well, everyone thought it was amusing at the time.

I digress again. The article gave me absolution, of a sort, when I forget the niceties when I am laser focused on some issue or solution. This is something that I am constantly on myself about to improve. I know people who never fail to be accommodating and spot on polite and I am impressed and slightly shamed at the same time.

I don’t mean to say that I am rude when I am in this focused mode, I just forget my pleases and thank yous. Until later, sometimes much later. I might forget to wait my turn, too if it is really urgent.

Unfortunately, I don’t remember anything else about the article – where I saw it, the title, who wrote it. But it was based on scientific research. You’ll just have to take my word on it. I don’t mean to be impolite, my thoughts are just too focused on the task at hand. Let’s just say the solution part of the brain isn’t paying any attention to the polite part at that moment.

Please tell me that I am not alone in this – you know what I am talking about here. If you are a person who never fails to be polite, regardless of what is on your mind, do tell how you do it.

The Clutter in my Mind

Personal Growth, Work Life October 28, 2013 Leave a comment

Do you have those days when you have meeting after meeting – and the ‘action items’ that always seem to come after – and then you get back to your desk to find you have more voicemails than time to get back to the people plus a line of team members who have been lurking in hopes to see you between meetings to get an answer or follow up on previous action items? And then you go home and don’t have time to make dinner plus eat it before there are other activities to do/attend/lead/prepare for? And then fall into bed and your brain laughs at you – sleep, I’d love to, but you haven’t given me a moment to myself today so I have a lot to mull over here and this is the first moment that you’ve given me so we are definitely not sleeping yet.

photo credit: Wikimedia Commons, Interior of a storeroom

Whew, hope you followed me through that long, run-on paragraph. Most of us would rather be busy than idle, particularly at work. Idle time at home is often bliss, but at work it is frustrating. Crazy busy is a completely different level – the one that leads to stress diseases and burn out if it is sustained. I’ve been bouncing up into the level between good busy and crazy busy. (Glad I haven’t been crazy busy since an SAP implementation project a few years ago now.)

I don’t have a name for this level but I find that it leaves a lot of clutter in my mind – the half formed idea to resolve an open question from a meeting two days ago that died because I didn’t get back to it in time, indeed I piled other half formed ideas on top of it from other meetings. Now the desiccated idea is just taking up space in my mind. Alongside a hyperactive to-do list that changes every other minute. And barely formed thoughts on future tasks that are strewn about like Legos waiting for an unsuspecting barefoot walk through the room. (For those of you who have never lived with a Legomaniac, this is like stubbing your toe only it is the bottom of your foot.)

In Toastmasters contests, there is a minute of silence while the judges think about the just completed speech and write their notes before the next speech is introduced. Imagine how nice it would be in the office to have fifteen minutes to a half hour to at least start to flesh out thoughts and ideas that come out of meetings before your load in something completely new with the next meeting? It would be refreshing, yes?

I finally get the point of study hall in high school – I thought it was supposed to be social time (and I never was lucky enough to have any of my friends in the same study hall hour), sometimes doing a bit of work but mostly just pulling out a book and reading. Now I get that it was time for students to make a bit of sense, organized our thoughts around what we had learned that day. Make it our own, connect the dots. Prevent this clutter in our minds.

Wouldn’t it be nice if we got study hall time at work in between meetings? As for home, we are each on our own to manage that clutter in our minds. Share if you have a good method.