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Dis-orientingly Familiar

Personal Growth, Work Life, Writing September 30, 2013 Leave a comment

I have lived in many places in my life – sometimes you can pass through a place, even live there for a good chunk of time, without the place grabbing much of a hold on your memory and other places dig deep roots into your heart, even in a short stay. And the place that prompted me to write is one that dug deep. It was nice to get a chance to go back recently, even briefly, and check how the town and some of the people that I know are faring.

Living now in the Chicago area, there isn’t much contour to our prairie, but this area has plenty of hills and valleys. Some of the state routes and other roads connecting towns used to be 2 lane back roads with character including twists and turns – but over time through government investment, need due to heavy use, and hard work of construction workers these routes and roads have become 4 lane highways and therefore been straightened out and lost character. It is now faster to get from one place to another, and you don’t have fear what might be taking that next curve wide, but the scenery is blander.

Progress seems to smooth out personality.

I’ve noticed that this seems true with clothing and buildings as well. Look at items that were made painstakingly by hand in previous centuries and you will see intricate work that we don’t see in many of our modern items – straighter lines, more uniform.

I know this thing, if not clearly anymore, I know it viscerally. This is where the old road went that way. This is where the door used to be. Even if you haven’t lived many places I bet you can identify – think about when you have visited some place and found that they have similar street names. Which makes you think twice as hard to get from A to B – is it your usual A to B, or a different one that should not overlay existing information? Names are the same, but contours and results are quite different.

We know it, but we don’t and it is disorienting. Our brains stutter to gain certainty – this, no that, um. Breathe, not panic. Familiar, why? What fits with what? Set aside the unknown for a moment, focus on the known – even vague misty known. And click. Understanding starts, disorientation recedes. I am here, now. Whew.

Time Out Moment

Job Search, Personal Growth, Work Life September 26, 2013 Leave a comment

Adults have been putting children in time out for decades, hundreds of years when you take the old Dunce chair into account. Yet, somehow we don’t seem to realize when we should give ourselves a time out. Everyone could use one now and again, regardless of how measured some people are overall.

The time out is intended to give the child time to get hold of their emotions – of course, particularly for a child, it should include vigorous exercise, not sitting still, to rid the body of that kinetic energy. (Wherever do we think that energy is going to go?) But that point is for another time. We assume that through the various methods applied by our caregivers we have developed the skills needed to keep ourselves under control now as adults.

Too bad we can’t have a time out spot like this nearby when we need it.

But due to uncertainty, lack of sleep, low blood sugar, a chaotic event, illness, fear, want/need, or many other forces we don’t always have the control that we ought over our own responses. We need to give ourselves a time out moment. A step back, breathe, assess, consider, reconsider opportunity before we speak or act.

People who are more measured by nature are better able to build this need into their interactions. Impulsive people, and all of the others in between measured and impulsive will have to practice awareness first – to identify that they are getting to a point where a time out is a good idea. I have varying success with this recognition myself. When I need it the most, I don’t seem to have the right access.

When I am just a bit stressed, but still aware I realize that I can rely upon my breathing to give me the best clue. When it becomes shallow and tight, I stop whatever I am doing. Then I get moving – this is always a good time for a restroom break – to change my blood flow, plus a change of scenery gives your mind a chance to re-channel thinking – and the physical activity will start to burn some of the psychic energy that is causing the need for a time out moment. I focus on deeper breathing while moving.

We all have a lot on our mind, our plate – whatever – a time out moment now and then to reflect helps immensely.

Mental Reset Via Road Trip

Personal Growth, Work Life September 23, 2013 Leave a comment

My parents were raised in the same medium sized Midwestern city, but moved away to follow my dad’s job early in their marriage. This meant that from a small age, I was used to getting in the car for a drive to see extended family. Being in the car meant dad driving, always. Mom variously would start games with us, get us to sing rounds, read or sleep. There came to be a rhythm of family interaction and personal introspection that I found pleasant.

Ever since being on my own, I have sought out a road trip or two each year because of this thought rhythm. New sights outside the car window can be triggers for new thoughts and ideas. (And blog posts.)

“Your assumptions are your windows on the world. Scrub them off every once in a while, or the light won’t come in.”

~ Isaac Asimov

Just like the country in general, my life has been churning a lot of change in the past year or so and a road trip was just what I needed to think, adjust and let the light in. I am back from a very quick trip to an area that I called home for several years. It is a small town, county seat, in a rural setting. It gave me a chance to think while on the road, and to get a bit of green therapy in places that we used to go hiking.

Even if your life has been same old same old, it is helpful to figure out a way to scrub off your assumptions and there is nothing like a change of scenery to do it.

I have this conversation with myself during almost every road trip – this is the time that I will make a point to not be so stuck on getting to my destination, but stop at some of the local places that post signs along the road. I know that it is important to expand my perception once in a while. On the way home I did just this, and reminded myself that it was fun as I was grumbling about pulling into my garage so late at the end of the trip.

How do you give yourself a mental reset once in awhile?